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Life, Death, Everything in Between
Somebody New
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I hate you, but I love you. And I can't stop thinking of you..
28th-Jun-2009 05:55 pm - crap that jus appeared
Dear mom can you hear me
I miss you terribly
Tell daddy that I'm sorry
Why'd you leave mom
Didn't you see me crying
I heald my hands out
but you just kept falling
I know I'm not much
But can't you make things better
It's sad 'cause no one brushes my hair
Or even calls me princess
No makes me laugh
The way you always did
No one tells me who I am
And who I'll always be
I didn't mean to yell at dad
I know he was broken too
I've been trying all I can
To do all you said I could do
I know most of the time
I'm very disappointing
But I just really miss you
Wish I could start all over
And make you stay this time





Last line
Cards drawn
Time freezes
Voices past


Contradictions
Mere confusement
To the top
And so far

White floor
Bright lights
He's saving a life
Way past the cure

Reaching Reaching
For the prize
Not gold nor silver
Just plain pride

Cool water
Ticking watch
Finish line
Lap is done

Time flies
In a blink of an eye
Chances leave
Like friends on the dime

Center stage
Loud crowd
Has no voice
But singing loud

Looking far
Way past the near
Rising sun, new day
Ambition





The little girl
In my dreams
How she screams
For her mommy

Helpless streams
Roll down her face
How she feels
Out of place

Silent screams
Escape her lips
How she tries
To quiet them

Growing hate
Fills her mind
How she seals
The me she'll be






Nothing seems to
Satisfy
The need that grows
Inside me

All the while that I
Cry
It seems the world can't stand me

I'm the loner to the
Side
Trying not to fall
Too quickly

My tears they just
Sting
Like the hate they feel
Towards me

I don't know why I
Try
When I'll always be
So lonely





Your voice
Like insects
Crawl up
My fragile skin

Your voice
Like glass
Shatter against
My fragile heart

Your voice
Like magic words
Break through
My fragile mind





Leaning into this
Openess you bring with
Virtue to who I am
Inside and out
Never letting me
Grow without
Your tender touch
Of hope, love, and
Utter joy for me





The distant noise of cannons sound
The grave silence dropped to the ground

A painful persecution is the proof
Yet doesn't hide the awful truth

The sun setting soft and swift
Rests down my lonely heart adfrit

For no more does the full moon speak
Nor shine bright on my life's peak

And no more do the doves fly
Spreading peace through my dark sky





The smoker stands
To the side
They laugh at him
Not along
For the same joy ride

The lady working all day
Never sees
Those three lone kids
Like shadows
She'll never please

The mask a child wears
Hidden face
Of the familiar stranger
Who won't fit in
Any place
25th-May-2009 03:13 pm(no subject)
Crying doesn't
Seem
Like a sure thing
Anymore

Cried myself fully
Out
Cried my waters
Full of dread

Screaming doesn't
Help
Fill the silence
Much longer

Screamed my voice
Low
Screamed my dreams
All away

Hurting doesn't
Work
Numb the pain
Right now

Hurt my share of
Lives
Hurt my share of
People

Life doesn't have a
Flow
Never really did
Won't ever do
17th-May-2009 03:04 pm - More Words

Annoyance exposed
on your oh so tender face
anger flashing
in your oh so warm eyes

As for me?
I'm holding on
desperately for
that sweet high

Never thought
you'd become
my drug, my destryoer
the very death of me

Now you're smiling
'cause you see my strain
I need you and you know
eyes now so powerful

But I'm still holding on
shadowed with fear
heated with desire
for that sweet high




Now I'm thinking
I was stupid
reckless fool
I was confused

Love was anger
hate without truth
passion with only pass
then I saw you

Wondering idly
walking in
right through the door
only you opened

Rainbow, sunshine
color, bright lights
dreamy, simple lie
landing, terror calling

Love is hate4
personification
of evil itself
pain in slow motion




10th-May-2009 01:12 pm - Words

It burns inside
shadows the night
fearsome and gray
in ghostly sight


Ran the mile
getting away
long as nile
'your dead' it says

A trick of spades
no time to lie
the sword of hades
it's time I die

Life never was needed
holding on the latter
the pland never seeded
forgotten forever





Look up to the sky
wondering why
bad prevails
good subsides

Who gave you the right
to control my life
guide my light
order me to fight?

I am my own
my mother's child
my father's cry
my family's hate

Who gave you the hand
to make me hurt
hide my truths
expose my lies?

Bow down graciously
lose the fight
darkness will win
there is no light

Who told you
I'm not worthy
I can't make it
I'll not be me?

Power surges
ghostly screams
walk away
a coward dreams

Who made you
my king of seas
the ruler of my destiny
a love that I seek?



Never knew this
was me
at the edge of
the wall

I didn't think they
could see
so close to the  end of
the hall

Didn't think I
was sick
Don't know why
I'd tick

Couldn't see the
obvious problem
Didn't know I didn't
love them

Can't face up to
the truth
Life is simply waht
I rue



Dying
Eternally
Pleading
Restlessly
Escaping
Stupidly
Staying
Intently
Outing
Newly

Hating
Utterly
Repeating
Truly
Suicide...




Never knew
I was danger
didn't think
it all mattered

They tried to
life my blue cloud
didn't know
I'd scream so loud

Light was dark
way too foreign
didn't ask
why it's not sane

Life was wrong
out of my reach
didn't learn
what they'd all teach

It's over
I've more than failed
didn't try
to hell I head..



Glass like
I sit and
shatter

Who knew
life didn't
matter

Scared like
I'm reaching
for steel

Comfort
still shocks like
an eel

Relief
in darkness
rushed red

Lasts short
too quickly
it's over



Red roses
red like passion

Sweet sun
light like laughter

High notes
pure like water

Then there's me

Black rose
cold like my heart

Dead star
gone like my soul

Sour note
wrong like my life



Dear God,

How come you never
told me you cared
that even if I ever
so much as dared
you'd be there
to make me stiop
show me everywhere
I could be on top?

Why didn't you show me
everything that they knew
all that I couldn't see
that I hurt with all I do 
just so I can be free? 

Who said you couldn't
bring me from my darkness
lift me without a hint
of sarcasm but kindness?

When did you decide
that I was free to hate
push you from my side
and beg when it's too later
for you to please not hide?  
27th-Apr-2009 06:27 pm - Untitled
I'd like to crawl into a hole
And die.
I just really don't like being the one to
Wonder why.
True I love you but
I just don't really want to
Tell you.
It's not really the things
You do.
It's not really how you make
Me smile.
It's more the tears I cry
For you.
And the way youy make
Things worthwhile.
I'd never know how
To love. I
'd never know how to
Not hate.
If I didn't really
Know you.
And just so
You know I
love you
Forever and always <3
26th-Mar-2009 06:55 pm - Blue eyes

Behind those blue eyes

Is there an ocean?

an ocean that I swim in

an that gives me no limits

an ocean that says you love me

 

Behind those blue eyes

Is there a sky?

a sky that’s not blue

but dark as night

a sky that says you hate me

 

So I sit and wonder

what’s behind those eyes

those blue eyes you have

the ones that hurt me,

love me, heal me, and hate me

all in one day

23rd-Mar-2009 07:40 pm - Failure

Take my hand

I’ll take you on a journey

Show you all the time

that god failed me

 

 

I was 3 years old

Didn’t even know

that people died

or made you cried

 

Since that day I’ve hated him

Since that day I’ve hated life

Since that day I’ve hated me

 

 

I was 5 years old

Didn’t even know

that he’d even hate me

or wouldn’t let me be

 

Since that day I‘ve wanted to die

Since that day I’ve always lied

Since that day my best friend was a knife

 

 

I was 7 years old

Didn’t even know

that people could hurt you

if only the touched you

 

Since that day I’ve hated the world

Since that day I’ve my hell unfurled

Since that day I’ve never seen a tree burled

 

I am 15 years old

Yet I don’t even know

why I’m still alive

or how I’ll survive

 

So, Jesus died for everyone’s sins

but did not think twice of mine

So, god let me fall helplessly

in this hell hole called life

22nd-Mar-2009 10:33 pm - Untitled(like the millionth one)

 

Happiness a knife to my heart

daisies and rainbows

a poison to my system

 

Flowers and chocolate are for losers

Love is a game of war

I’m sorry I may seem crazy

but I really hate you

 

The light at the end of the tunnel

does not exist

Ice cream cones always melt

The fork in the road is really your hell

 

Black roses and death are the sky

to my heaven

Vampires are the history

to my bible

 

Darkness and Sadists are the world

Hate is the game of life

I’m glad I am not sane

Cause I really don’t like you

22nd-Mar-2009 10:20 pm - My Words

Words are sitting on my tongue

like honeybees on a flower

I pick up my pen

but they won’t leave

 

Stilled there

like fallen rain

until it is moved


Their voice, my pen

is silenced

their heart, my mind

begins skipping

 

A breath is lost

A sound is made

They begin moving

A rhythm is flowing

 

Words begin talking

leaping from one to another

like little kids playing

that game with the frog

 

These are my words

the leap in leapers

the voice in my pen

the heart in my mind

 

These are my words

my honeybees on a flower

my pen to be heard

my mind to be loved

 

These are my words

my statements to the world

9th-Mar-2009 09:51 pm(no subject)
 



Une lettre pour
 
l'Hier Mondial j'ai écrit à une lettre A Ecrit une lettre pour l'Hier mondial j'ai écrit UNE
déclaration à l'Hier mondial à ma déclaration finale j'ai écrit UNE histoire à une histoire ‹ l'attaque le
monde

Le cher monde, écoutez-vous ? Pouvez-vous entendre les défenses silencieuses ? D'enfants détruits par la guerre

Avez-vous vu l'enfant ? Dont la mère est morte de maladie ? Voyez-vous ses déchirures, les Gouttes de pluie remplissant
les eaux d'enfer ?

Le cher monde, Etes-vous aveugle ? Vous ne pouvez pas voir la haine ? De gens qui énerve donne le goût

Vous jamais avez su, Le médecin qui s'efforce ? Qui a voulu épargner une vie ? Il a travaillé si dur Mais ne
pourrait pas épargner son propre

Le cher monde, aidez-vous ? Soignez-vous même ? De ceux qui vous appelle à la maison

Avez-vous remarqué ? Le chagrin qui reste, Dans un de trois ans › les yeux de s ? Il n'a pas su qu'UN
« jouet » pourrait faire sa mère mourir

Le cher monde, comprenez-vous maintenant ? Pouvez-vous reconnaître enfin ? Ceux qui tombent à leurs pieds

Voyez-vous la veuve cassé-chaleureux ? Pouvez-vous aider la victime de viol ? Remarquerez-vous le héros ? Pouvez-vous entendre clairement ?

Le cher monde, c'est le temps pour vous faire UN meilleur lieu pour vous faire le soleil brillant Que les gens
ont attendu trop longtemps

Le cher Monde, Ceci est une lettre pour le monde.







A letter for the World

Yesterday I wrote a letter

Wrote a letter for the world

Yesterday I wrote my final statement
A statement to the world
Yesterday I wrote a story
A story ‘bout the world

 

Dear world,

Are you listening?

Can you hear the silent pleas?

Of children destroyed by war

 

Have you seen the child?

Whose mother died of disease?

Do you see her tears,

Raindrops filling the waters of hell?

 

Dear world,

Are you blind?

Can’t you see the hate?

Of people who anger gives taste

 

Have you ever known,

The striving doctor?

Who wanted to save a life?

He worked so hard

But couldn’t save his own

 

Dear world,

Are you helping?

Do you even care?

About those who call you home

 

Have you noticed?

The sorrow that lies,

In a three-year-old’s eyes?

He didn’t know

A “toy” could make his mother die

 

Dear world,

Do you understand now?

Can you finally recognize?

Those who are falling at their feet

 

Do you see the broken-hearted widow?

Can you help the rape victim?

Are you going to notice the hero?

Can you hear clearly?

 

Dear world,

It’s time to make you

A better place

To make you the shining sun

That people have waited for too long

 

Dear World,

This is a letter for the world.

 

 


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